Silver and Gold 7/? DH Spoilers
SPOILERS FOR DH


Title: Silver and Gold 7/?
Author: Eriador117
Rating: NC-17, Snape/Harry, other pairings.
Spoilers up to and including Deathly Hallows
Summary: Things are never quite what they seem. Epilogue, what epilogue? ;)
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse, I'm just playing in it.
Beta'd by Rakina, many thanks :)
Warnings: AU, Angst, Mpreg. There are some other things I am not warning for as it will give away the plot and I myself don't exactly know where the story is going yet.



Earlier Parts

Part Seven

Severus hadn't eaten much by the time the remains of dinner were cleared away and the dishes of pudding appeared in their stead. It hadn't escaped Severus' notice that Harry had barely touched his meal either. The boy didn't even reach for any of the desserts; Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger seemed oblivious to the distress their friend was in. They had returned to finish school, so too had Neville Longbottom and Parvati Patil. Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas had decided they would rather stay in the Muggle world as long as Umbridge still held a position of power within the Ministry. Severus didn't think it would be long before the woman was ousted; the election was in a week's time and popular opinion seemed to be favouring Arthur Weasley, despite Umbridge trying to pass laws that would forbid Muggle-borns, half-bloods and blood traitors to vote. Severus hoped it was only a matter of time before the woman got sent to Azkaban. She was raving mad and he just hoped the voting populace could see it.

Severus couldn't get the boy's scars out of his head; every time he closed his eyes he saw them hovering behind his eyelids. How could Harry have kept such treatment to himself for so long? As Severus remembered his own childhood, he realised that if he felt ashamed at what his father had done to him, it was probably even worse for Harry. Abusers were clever; they always made it seem as if it was the victim's own fault. Naughty boys have to be punished.

Tonight Harry would be back in the dorms. If Harry was as depressed as Severus thought he was, he didn't think the dorms were the safest place for him. He'd already had an argument with Minerva about it; he'd wanted Harry to stay with him so he could keep an eye on him but she didn't think it would be appropriate now that Harry was a student again. Severus turned his attention back to Minerva as she stood up and tapped her goblet for order; the Hall had been awash with noise as friends caught up with one another after their long summer.

"Good evening everyone. I'd like to issue a very warm welcome to our new students and to those of you who have returned to continue your education. As some of you are aware, the school schedule was disrupted somewhat last year. This mainly affects the students who would have been due to take their OWLs and NEWTs. Since they were unable to do so through no fault of their own, those who were in fifth, sixth and seventh year during last term, will repeat those years."

None of the previous seventh year Slytherins had returned. The last Severus had heard, the Malfoys had moved to France in order to avoid arrest as Death Eaters. The rest of the families he didn't know about.

There was a mumble of dissent at the Headmistress' words and Severus saw Ginny Weasley looking severely disappointed that she would not be in the same year as Harry Potter. She kept trying to catch his eye, but Harry was resolutely staring anywhere but at the Weasley girl. What had happened between those two? Severus felt a weight against his chest as he thought of the two of them together.

"Those of you in younger years, will of course move up a class, so the fifth year classes will be slightly larger this year. If any of you are finding it difficult, we will be setting up tutoring sessions with some of the older students and the staff to help you. Anyone who would like to sign up to be a tutor, please see your Head of House so that things can be arranged. The same goes for any of you who would like to have a tutor. Now, as some of you aware, I was recently made Headmistress of Hogwarts and as such I will no longer be able to fulfil my duties as Head of Gryffindor House. It is with great pleasure that I announce the new Head of Gryffindor – Professor Severus Snape."

There were roars of: "No way!" from both the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables.

Well, Severus had never assumed it was going to be easy.

"Silence!" roared McGonagall. "It is not up to the students to decide who becomes their Head of House. That responsibility lies with me. You will treat all of your teachers with respect. Need I remind any of you what happens when someone thinks they are better than someone else because of their status? We are all magical folk here and we will all conduct ourselves with decorum!

"Now, onto some notices. The Forbidden Forest is out of bounds unless you are accompanied by a member of staff for a lesson or detention. No magic is to be performed in the corridors between classes and Mr. Filch would like me to remind you all to please wipe your feet before coming into the castle. Now all that remains is for me to announce our new Head Boy and Head Girl for this year: they are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger."

There were whoops and cheers from the Gryffindor table and boos and hisses from the Slytherin one. Severus was so glad he was no longer Head of that House. It had been draining trying to pretend loyalty to Voldemort, patting the wannabe Death Eater's on the back and berating everything Harry Potter did in his classes just to avoid suspicion. It had kept both of them alive though, that was the main thing.

As the applause died, Minerva sat down. Severus was on one side of her, Hagrid on the other and they both looked at each other over Minerva's head with the same shocked expression.

"Minerva, you can't be serious about making Harry Head Boy," said Severus.

"Professor Snape's righ', Headmistress, yeh can't be having Harry as Head Boy. Yeh jus' can't."

"I can understand your reluctance to allow Harry such accolades, Severus, but I thought that you, Hagrid, would be very proud that he'd become Head Boy."

"It's not abou' bein' proud, Headmistress! I'm worried about 'im!"

"Worried? Why would you be worried?"

"The Head Boy and Girl are each given their own room!" exclaimed Severus.

***

Harry stared at the new bedroom he'd been given now that he was Head Boy. It didn't feel like a luxury or a perk. For years he'd been locked away on his own and he had relished coming back to school, back to the dorms and his friends. The room was larger than the bedroom he'd been using in Professor Snape's quarters with an enormous double canopied bed in some sort of dark wood. There were carvings of flowers and centaurs and some other creatures he didn't recognise around the bedposts. The bedspread and the bed curtains were in deep red velvet with embroidered Golden Snitches on them, although thankfully the Snitches didn't seem to be moving.

Harry had his own desk and stool, along with a small wardrobe and dressing table. There was even a plush window seat overlooking the Quidditch pitch. Another door led off to his own bathroom, already equipped with everything he'd ever need. Red fluffy towels on the rails; shampoos, soaps, even a mug with an old-fashioned shaving brush resting inside it and a straight razor lying on the shelf above the sink. Harry wondered who had put it there; maybe one of the elves. Harry normally used spells to shave, but he lifted the razor in his hand.

He stared at himself in the mirror above the bathroom sink and wondered how long it would take. Would anyone come to his room before morning to find him? Ron might, or maybe even Neville and the thought that either one of his friends would have to go through that – discovering Harry bloody and lying on the floor, had him dropping the razor into the sink with a loud clatter. Harry gripped the edges of the sink; his whole body shook. He needed help. He couldn't keep relying on Snape or Hagrid to be there all the time to save him from himself.

It was time he took responsibility for himself. He was eighteen now, legally an adult in both the Muggle and wizarding worlds and it was time he faced up to things.

***

Harry made his way through the castle with his Invisibility Cloak draped over him and down to the fourth floor. It was with some trepidation that he pushed open the door to the infirmary, remembering all the bloodied patients it had held so recently. Tonight, however, there were no patients, just rows of empty beds and a couple of lanterns alight on the walls.

Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight, Harry guessed she might still be in her office or maybe she'd already gone to bed; the Welcome Feast had lasted longer than normal. Harry pulled off his cloak and as he walked towards the office; he saw a sliver of light streaking the floor beneath the door. He knocked on the wood.

"Madam Pomfrey?"

There was a scrape of a wooden chair on flagstones and then the matron opened the door to him.

"Harry! I didn't expect anyone so late. Are you ill, dear?"

"Not exactly," said Harry.

"Oh?"

"I'm not right, Madam Pomfrey," Harry admitted. "A few weeks ago... I ... I... I tried to kill myself and tonight I thought about doing it again. I need help. I don't think I really want to die."

"Oh Harry, you poor boy!" said Madam Pomfrey clasping her hands over her mouth and in the next instant, she had Harry wrapped up in her arms and was pressing his face against her bosom. Harry hadn't thought he would cry, but the hug was just so motherly, just what he would expect from a mother, that he soon broke down in sobs and just couldn't seem to stop.

"Ssh, Harry. It's all right. We'll get you well. We'll get you well. I promise."

TBC