Silver and Gold 13/? DH Spoilers
SPOILERS FOR DH


Title: Silver and Gold 13/?
Author: Eriador117
Rating: NC-17, Snape/Harry, other pairings.
Spoilers up to and including Deathly Hallows
Summary: Things are never quite what they seem. Epilogue, what epilogue? ;)
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Potterverse, I'm just playing in it.
Beta'd by Rakina, many thanks :)
Warnings: AU, Angst, Mpreg. There are some other things I am not warning for as it will give away the plot and I myself don't exactly know where the story is going yet.



Earlier Parts

Part Thirteen

"Courting? You're sure that's what he said?" asked Hermione. The three of them had just come back from Hogsmeade. Hermione was sitting cross-legged on Harry's bed and Ron was in the bathroom so Harry took advantage of having Hermione to himself for a moment to discuss what had happened that morning.

"Yeah, I'm not imagining it, Hermione. That's what he said."

"It's not that I don't believe you, but if he says he wants to Court you, that means it's serious. He's not after some fling or something."

"He mentioned that he wanted to do things properly. So what is this Courting thing then?" Harry swivelled his desk chair a little to the left and then to the right, just feeling the need to do something. He was restless; he'd been restless all day, ever since Snape's talk that morning. Nervous energy was coursing through him; he felt like he wanted to jump up and down to stop his skin from feeling so tight.

"Well, it's really just a more formal way of dating," Hermione said just as Ron came out of the bathroom. He sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Miss me?" asked Ron, nuzzling her neck.

"You were only gone five minutes," said Hermione, giving him a playful slap on the arm. "Stop that, we have company."

"Oh, sorry mate," said Ron with a sheepish grin.

"Ron, you probably know a bit more about the Courting Ritual. Bill and Fleur did it, didn't they?" asked Hermione.

"Yeah, although I think it was Mum's idea, she likes all the traditional stuff like that."

"So what happens if someone wants to Court you?" asked Harry, hoping Ron would think it was just idle curiosity rather than that he desperately needed to know.

"Well, first of all, you get a Letter of Intent. That's to let you know that the person is interested in Courting you. After the letter is sent, you have a week to decide whether or not to accept the Courtship. You have to write a Letter of Acceptance or Rejection once the week is up. If you accept a Suitor, then they will continue to Court you. Give you gifts; take you out on dates, things like that. It's really to see if you're suited to one another. It can last anywhere from months to years, but a Courtship is quite serious."

"How serious?"

"Well, let's-get-married-and-have-children-together serious. You don't have to get married to them, but if they are offering a Courtship, it means they're thinking about it."

Harry knew he was going to have to come clean to Ron sometime about his sexual preferences but he was unsure how Ron might react. Sometimes his temper could be a bit volatile. "Harry, are you thinking of Courting Ginny? Because I have to tell you, she's going out with Ernie Macmillan now."

"Ron, no. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. Well, the person who was interested in Courting me. It's not a girl. It's a man. I'm gay." Harry braced himself for the explosion.

"So what was all that with Ginny then? You were just experimenting with her?"

"It was a mistake," said Harry sadly.

"A mistake?" demanded Ron. "You slept with her and now it's a mistake!"

"Ron! Harry never slept with Ginny!" protested Hermione. "Ginny just wanted people to think that."

"Why would she lie about it?"

"I've no idea," said Harry although personally he thought Ginny wanted the kudos of having slept with the Boy Who Lived or the Chosen One. Or maybe she was upset that Harry had rejected her advances. To Harry, it sometimes seemed that she was more interested in his fame than him. "I haven't slept with anyone, Ron."

"Yeah? Well forgive me if I don't believe you!"

"You can check if you want," said Harry.

"Harry, you don't have to prove anything to him!"

"Whose side are you on, Hermione?"

"I'm not on anyone's side, Ron. I just don't think it's fair of you to invade Harry's privacy like that. That purity charm is only supposed to be used with permission. Whether he's slept with anyone or not is none of your business."

"It is if he's been messing Ginny about!" said Ron with a mulish pout.

"Ron, I'm gay," Harry tried to explain. "I fancy men, men's bodies. I just wasn't interested in doing things with Ginny or Cho, but I didn't realise why until recently. I just thought I was a bit of a late bloomer. Girls don't make me hot. Think of you and Hermione. Now imagine you were doing those things that you've been doing with Hermione with me instead."

Ron's eyes widened. "Mate, you're my best friend, but no offence, I don't want to be snogging you and... and..."

"Well, that's the same way I feel about Ginny. She's a friend, and that's all she can ever be for me."

"I think I get it," said Ron. "So how long have you known you were gay?"

"Oh, about two weeks," said Harry and almost as soon as he said it the three of them burst into giggles.

***

Harry was surprised that Ron wasn't more curious as to whom Harry's Suitor might be, but Harry was glad of it. The less people who knew about he and Professor Snape the better. He knew Hermione wouldn't say anything; she probably knew the rules of the school backwards and Harry guessed it probably wasn't the done thing to have a relationship with one of your teachers. However, when Harry caught Snape's gaze as the three of them took their seat for the Halloween Feast; Harry knew he didn't care about the rules. He wanted to be with Snape and if he had to sneak around and break rules to do so, then he was going to do it.

The enchanted ceiling was overcast with dark clouds tonight, only a few sprinkled stars flickered through small gaps in the clouds. Live bats fluttered around the Great Hall and instead of the usual floating candles, carved pumpkin heads hovered above the tables and aisles. Halloween had always been emotional for Harry especially since he'd discovered that his parents had been murdered then. He noticed Snape and Hagrid were both watching him, as if expecting him to do something to harm himself tonight.

Harry hadn't wanted to do anything like that for a while. Madam Pomfrey's counselling was helping. It was good to be able to talk to someone about anything and know they weren't going to judge you or second-guess what you should be feeling just because you were the Boy Who Lived or the Man Who Defeated Voldemort. But Harry knew that probably he would never be fully well. Some days he felt worse than others, but he was having more better days now than he used to. Madam Pomfrey never belittled how he was feeling or that he should be feeling something different. He knew she wasn't going to allow him to play Quidditch any time soon but she was thinking of reducing their sessions down to two or three times a week.

Aware of Snape's eyes on him, Harry made sure to eat a decent dinner and although he would have quite liked seconds of dessert; he put his spoon down when he'd finished his first portion of treacle tart. He skipped the toffee apples altogether but giggled along with Hermione when Ron started on his fourth. Harry wondered if Ron had hollow legs, for despite his large appetite, Ron was tall and lean with hardly an ounce of fat on him. Where did he put all that food?

As the Feast drew to a close and everyone started making their way back to their dorms, Harry hung back until the teachers started dispersing as well. Harry followed Snape out of the Great Hall and was pleasantly surprised when he was pulled into an alcove behind a suit of armour flanking the doors. Snape's cheeks were flushed with colour as he handed Harry a cream envelope with his name on the front.

"I don't think I need to remind you to open this missive in private, do I?"

"No, sir. Thank you." Before he lost his nerve, Harry stood on tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek. Snape stared at him and rubbed at his face, as if not quite believing what had just happened. Harry smiled as he took his leave and all but ran up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. Harry bypassed the small party in the common room and locked himself in his bedroom, casting the strongest locking charms he knew on his door.

He yanked off his robe and toed off his shoes before settling down on the bed in the remainder of his clothes. His heart was hammering fit to burst as he slid his thumb underneath the wax seal and got ready to read the letter.

My dearest Harry,

I have never been one who wears my heart on my sleeve or who has written romantic poetry. My talent lies in Potions. I have no skill with a pen or an artist's brush, but when I look at you, I wish I had.

I wish I could draw a portrait of you and when I see your smile and how it makes your eyes glow I want to capture the moment forever. Your smiles have been rare, but they are all the more precious because of it, and when one is bestowed upon me I feel like a prince (although I imagine I look more like the frog of the fairy tales.)

I am not a rich man, nor a handsome one, so what can I offer you? You have been through so much and throughout it all you have never once faltered, your courage and your bravery shows in everything you do. I won’t ask to be your protector, for you are a powerful wizard in your own right and hardly need protecting, but I can help you. Let me share your burdens and your joys. Let me look after your heart to keep it from harm, as I'm hoping you'll look after mine.

I had found the world to be a cruel place until I met you. I had lost hope; you gave me hope, Harry. You made me feel again. I want to close my eyes and see the world through yours, for I know with you it will be wonderful.

If you feel the same way, please accept this as my Letter of Intent to Court you.

Yours, always,
S.S.

Harry set the letter on his bedside cabinet before his tears smudged the ink. No skill with a pen? He would have to disagree with Snape there, the letter was beautiful and he'd felt both happy and sad at the same time as he read it.

There was no doubt in Harry's mind and he wasn't going to make the man wait a week for his answer. Harry wandered over to his desk and took out quill and parchment.



TBC